{ behind the scenes }

Hello! If you haven't visited my about page yet, then you don't know who I am. My name is Mairi and I am fourteen years old, which is why I probably write a lot of silly things on my posts. That's my excuse. What's yours?

I designed (am still designing) this blog because I don't like ugly blogs, and I wanted mine to at least look a little bit professional. My sister Skye (see her blog here) is a graphic designer (she designs posters, covers, stuff with paper -- not web design, which is what I enjoy doing) and she does really great stuff, and someday I hope to have work like hers. That's part of why I designed this blog, because I wanted to make it look more like the stuff Skye does.

Though, that's what this blog is about.

It's about finding my own style. So I hope this blog looks like my other blogs and not just like Skye's designing, because I want it to look like something I'd design. Even though this blog is more about clothing style than designing style.

Moving on.

This blog was made because of a conversation I had with my other sister, Lottie, who is a photographer, even if she doesn't think so. You can see her photos (and blog!) here, and see her tumblr account here.

Not like she'd really want you to, but I do.

Lottie is my photographer. All the credit goes to her. She takes the pictures, she edits them, she sends them to me, I post them. At least, that's what we're going to do. This is my first year of high school, so I've been really busy and haven't gotten around to getting a whole lot of shots, but that's our plan so far.

And speaking of credit... well, that comes later. At the bottom of this page. Go ahead; scroll.

But. The conversation (you knew I was going to tell you about) took place on Thursday, April 22, 2016. I was lamenting the fact that I don't have any sense of fashion or style -- least of all MY style. I wanted to have my own kind of clothing, clothing that I could get at, say, Target, but also clothing that, once put together, would be the kind of clothing I normally wear. Excuse me if I'm not making much sense. I don't really know how to explain it. But I think everyone's gotten to that sort of time in their life when they want their clothes to reflect their style and what they like.

For example, I know a certain female (she's 18 or 19 -- should I call her a woman or a girl?) who has a definitive style. Hers is the style you would label as "vintage" but she doesn't wear vintage clothes. It's just her style. If you opened up her wardrobe or looked at what she wears, or you looked through her bureau, you could get a feel for who she is and what she wears and what she likes -- just by looking at her clothes, because she has a style of her own.

I don't.

I have dresses that are fitted, black and white, the sort that you find at Target, and then I have a sweater dress and a flapper-style dress (chiffon and pleated, that sort of material).

Looking in my closet at the row upon row of dresses and skirts, it's a jumble of Target, Old Navy, Naartje, and everywhere else.

You can't get a definitive knowledge of my style.

So, back to that Thursday I mentioned earlier.

As I told you before, I was talking to my older sister (who has a very definitive style -- the exact sort of style that I love. You can check out her board here). I had been thinking about it a while back, after reading about capsule wardrobes and all that and had come to the conclusion that I would like to try that out. Then I had told my mom and she had said, yes, we could try to do that this summer when school's out. So I thought great! I will probably do that this summer. But I was thinking about it that night and was thinking about all my shirts -- most of which were just plain white shirts that were tight, had high necks (no collars -- just necks) and were plain, plain, plain. Not attractive, didn't have anything to them, and you couldn't just wear them, you had to have a scarf or a big/long necklace to go with it. And you don't want to smother in scarves during summer do you? And I don't really wear necklaces because when I want to, I forget to put them on. I just forget about accessories.

I'm not really that interested in style, I just want to be stylish.

Unfortunately, it takes a sense of style and I don't have that.

But back to my story.

Besides, my long necklace had broken a few months back and so now I was left necklace-less. I had other ones, just short ones. Well, so I mulled all this over in my head and thought about it. So my sister started talking to me about it that night that I mentioned forever ago. Sorry. It started because she was working on editing her pictures but stopped and showed me her style board, which is full of a lot of stuff she wears (the style she wears). At least, the older stuff is. Not all of it. As she talked, she mentioned how she'd pin stuff she liked but would never wear (it being like Indian saris and things like that -- she wouldn't wear a sari but she liked it) and then other things, not just things like that, would show up -- things more like what she liked.

She said, "It helps if you find a blog you really like, one with a style you like, and then you can kind of get a feel for it. So, like, follow a fashion blog and start deleting old pins that aren't really your style anymore. Pin stuff that you like but wouldn't wear [e.g. the sari she pinned -- she didn't actually ever pin a sari, I'm just giving an example] and then things will start popping up that you like and probably would wear and then you'll get a feel for what you like and don't like."

She also said, "One thing that really helps is just to pin-hop. Choose a pin that you really like, and then scroll down to view all the other pins that will be similar to the one you originally looked at. You find a lot more stuff that you like by pin-hopping than by anything else because then you know that at least most of the stuff will be more along the lines of what you like."

And then she asked me if I had ever heard of a capsule wardrobe before. If you've never heard of a capsule wardrobe before, you can hear of it here (I gave the link earlier, but you may have missed it which is why I'm doing it now). I admitted -- rather guiltily, because I found out about it on Unfancy, which is a blog Carl follows -- that yes, I had heard of a capsule wardrobe. I told her I had seen the tab open and had read it.

I said, "Yeah, I saw that open and started reading about it and got really interested. I'm hoping I can do something similar this summer." I didn't want to mention that I'd read her blog post on it afterwards and didn't ever mention it to her or talk to her about it because I was worried she would be like this is my kind of thing and I didn't want to come across as a copycat -- I already love her style and want to copy that, so I didn't want to do too much.

I wish she was like a friend and not a sister, because you can do that with a friend.

Me, I don't feel like it's nice to the sister to have the same "style" as she does because what if other people start thinking of you as the one who always wears saris, and forgets she actually started it? That's happened to me at least three times to me and I've hated it -- at the moment -- every time. I used to LOVE the color turquoise and was like "everything turquoise!" and then someone (I'm not going to talk about my family much on this blog, just so you know, so I'm not going to name her or anything) started liking that color and would mention it -- so often, in fact, that my mom started thinking of HER, not me, when she saw turquoise things. She would buy the person stuff when she saw it and would say, "Here, I got this for you because I saw it and it reminded me of you because I know you like turquoise so much." and the person would squeal and jump up and down and be like OOOOHHHHHHHHHHH MAAAAAAAN LUUUUUUUV which I find annoying, so I never do it and I never mentioned my love for that color so no one ever thought of me as liking it so much.

Which isn't her fault.

I was the one who got her to love the color so much, which should make me flattered.

And I am, now, but at the time I was just mad that Mom didn't get ME stuff like that. Now I don't mind, probably because I don't like the color anymore. Now I like navy blue and pops of color (like a red belt on a black and white dress). But at the time I was mad that I didn't have a defined color anymore. I didn't want to say I liked that color because then it was like oh like her and I felt like it WASN'T like her at all!

So, anyway, to make a short story long is what I've just done, but to make a long story short -- I didn't want to do that sort of thing to Carl.

Which is why I didn't want her to think I was just copying her style or wanted to "wear" her style (if you get what I'm saying). I'm kind of a man-pleaser and so I'm always worried that they'll think this of me they'll think that of me. Just so you know, I'm trying to get over it. I'm trying to not care if someone thinks of me a way I don't like and I'm trying not to let someone's scorn (or just plain preference) change my style or my taste or my opinions. So I'm actually trying to do something about it, but man, it's like a full-time job!

But Lottie said, "You might want to do something like that -- see, she [Unfancy] has a lot of basic stuff, and neutral clothing so that she can add colorful accessories and not worry about the patterns or whether they go with her skirt or not. That kind of thing. Find a fashion blog that has your sort of style, or a style you like, and start following it. Pin stuff you would wear, and stuff that is your style, and then other stuff like that will pop up. Some of them will lead you to fashion blogs and if you like the content of the blog, start following it. Just pin a lot of, read a lot of, the fashion blog, and do the capsule wardrobe thingy, and then you'll kind of get a feel for what you want."

She said a lot of other stuff that I forget, but the stuff that I remember is really helpful.

So that's why I started this blog, because even though she didn't say, "start a blog", I think it would probably help because if I'm going to start putting outfits together, and care how I look, why not?

Besides, if I'm going to look nice, how bout I look great because I'm going to be putting it on the internet, so I need it to look great or I don't look great.

That's that.

And hopefully in a year or two I'll find my style and the look that I want to have and then you'll be able to look through my closet and be able to tell what my style is.

And then again, maybe not.

Who knows?
{ credit }
PHOTOGRAPHY  //  Yellow Bliss Photography
HAIR  //  Eliza Greer